I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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I love how my cats smell like pot.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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