that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
