My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
