we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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