Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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