So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
