Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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