My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
