Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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