Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
