I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
How naked do you want me to be?
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