You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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