in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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