i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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