i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize