I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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