I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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