Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
