is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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