she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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