I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
