Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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