cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
