Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
