Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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