He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
