p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
