Me too!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
