Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
