Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
