i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
