I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Success! We fucked roommates!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
