How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
