I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
