Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
