Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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