Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
