He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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