We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
