I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She bit a glass in half.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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