It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
