I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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