I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
