You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
