And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
