This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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