They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
