My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
