Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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