I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
