at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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