Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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