Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
