she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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