Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I lost the right to judge tonight
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
