I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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