Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
