AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
