I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so let's talk penis.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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