you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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