you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
