My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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