im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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