Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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