it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
