I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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