Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
