Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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