Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
