There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you didnt know i had herpes?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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