Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
