This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
