just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize